Trade-offs and Triumphs 12
Issue 12: Isolation versus Solitude; Creating a Personal Highlight Reel; Are You Aware That You Are Aware?
Hello, friends! Thank you for subscribing, and welcome to my new subscribers!
I appreciate your time and wisdom.
Welcome to issue 12!
When loud thumps happen in the middle of the night, it is usually not a positive development. In my case, my mother had fallen down in the bathroom and had bumped her head so severely that she suffered a gash to the back of her head. We immediately rushed to the emergency room.
We were masked up and prepared for our first emergency room visit since COVID19 quarantine/social distancing had begun. Luckily, there were no head fractures, and she needed only staples for the gash. And, we were back home within two hours, which is very speedy for an emergency room visit.
Things happen when we are least prepared for it, and in this case, the small triumphs were staples and no fractures.
Isolation versus Solitude
Isolation contracts. Solitude expands.
Last week, I had the privilege of listening to violinist Vijay Gupta, founder and artistic director of Street Symphony. Street Symphony is an ensemble by and for homeless and incarcerated communities to create connection through music. He spoke about passion, fostering connection, and unearthing talent from unlikely places, because sometimes, we need darkness to see the stars.
What struck me the most though was Vijay’s statement about the sharp distinction between isolation and solitude - “Isolation diminishes us, whereas solitude opens us, awakens us to our internal lives.” I then went to his blog to read more about this distinction:
I wonder if we were experts in isolation before quarantine. Isolation assumes the lack of fulfilment in ourselves and others. We hold others responsible for our loneliness. We protect ourselves in a calcified shell, unaware of the potential of that hard container. That calcification could either become the armor which separates us from the world. I wonder if that same shell might, under a different lens, serve as a cocoon – some excruciating crucible of transformation.
Solitude is the path of the creator. Solitude helps us find and hone who we are. We unfold into that terrifying glance into the still, profound well of ourselves. We might transform in the loneliness, which allows us to glimpse a fullness of ourselves – even for a brief moment. We follow a thread in a labyrinth.
How do we encourage each other’s solitude, and then come together - frayed edges and all - to become communities who respect each other?
Creating a Personal Highlight Reel
How do you create a personal highlight reel that forces you to confront your demons and highlights your strengths? Looking in the mirror is never easy, but we must constantly question the assumptions that hold us back and “keep us safe.”
Dan Cable explains how you can create your personal highlight reel:
Give before you receive: Send notes of appreciation and gratitude to the people in your life: parents, colleagues, bosses, kids, friends, and siblings. Pretend you are drafting his/her obituary and outline what makes this person so special to you. And if writing notes is not your thing, you can always opt for the “hello” video style taught by Cam Houser - he provides step-by-step instructions on how to put together the best “hello” videos and how to send gratitude messages via video.
Embrace Your Emotions and Then Get to Work. Review all the positive feedback and create new habits around your strengths. Who am I? Who I am?
It looks like it may be time to practice some solitude and become a creator.
Are You Aware that You Are Aware?
But how can we create awareness?
I know very little about meditation, so it intrigued me when one of my morning writing partners, Abhishek Verma, shared his progressive summarization of Conscious Immortality by Paul Brunton and Mungala Venkataramiah. He articulated my secret reaction to meditation - great to read about but not so easy to practice.
But you don’t have to sit in meditation to practice meditation - instead, you cultivate awareness:
What is awareness
Awareness is not an intellectual process, but a state
Start with breath control, but do not stop there
Once the breath is regulated, be aware of the Self
To read more, check out Abhi’s latest newsletter - “Are You Aware That You Are Aware?”
And check out Abhi’s personal practice of meditation and his observations - all in a great Twitter thread:
Have any questions or comments? Let’s chat!
Want to exchange some thoughts over Twitter? You can find me @jennykim
Check out my website for more: puttingittogether.blog
See you next week!
No lie as a trade-off is ever worth the temporary illusion of triumph.
And remember to find that trade-off that will lead to that triumph this week, no matter how small, and celebrate it.
Wow, thank you Jenny for the shout-out and your encouragement. The paper got published due to your encouragement, so thank you!
Really loved the street symphony work. Amazing work.
And Cam's work is so relevant. I gotta reach out to him.
Thanks for these rare finds in your newsletter, it's like those Easter eggs. ✨✨