Trade-offs and Triumphs

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Trade-offs and Triumphs 36 by @jennykim

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Trade-offs and Triumphs 36 by @jennykim

Issue 36: Saying Good-bye, Resources for the Week, and Closing Thoughts

Jenny Kim
Apr 21, 2021
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👋 Hello, friends! Thank you for subscribing! Thank you for reading!

Welcome to issue 36 of Trade-offs and Triumphs - a newsletter of resources and thoughts about how to balance trade-offs in life to find and celebrate the small triumph; every decision point requires thinking through trade-offs and not just immediately aiming for the “solution.”

How was your week? What were your trade-offs and triumphs?

This week we will hit on:

👉 Saying Good-bye

👉 Resources for the Week

👉 Closing Thoughts

For a quick oral summary of Issue 36, hit ▶️ below:


Saying Good-bye

"Grief is the price we pay for love." - Queen Elizabeth II 

Queen Elizabeth II is seated for the funeral of Prince Philip at St. George's Chapel. (Jonathan Brady/AFP/Getty Images)

As she listened and gazed around her during the funeral, what memories flickered through her mind and heart as she reflected upon seventy plus years of marriage? Despite her public composure, what did she remember as she listened to the hymns and stared at the coffin, draped with her late husband’s standard?

And after seventy plus years of marriage - of good, bad, and ugly - is good-bye even adequate, or is it actually, “until we meet again?”

Her sitting alone in the pew is symbolic - no matter how many family members you have around you, if you are blessed enough to experience a frustrating yet fulfilling marriage, no one can seem to replace your spouse.

And ultimately you are alone - alone in grieving and remembering.

When my paternal grandfather passed away more than twenty years ago, my paternal grandmother travelled from Korea to New York City to visit three of her nine children. I was a pre-teen back then, and I remembered how my parents, uncles, and aunts scurried around to get ready for her arrival. In hushed voices, they discussed how long she would stay at each home and what activities would be planned for her. Everyone seemed to be worried about her - she and my grandfather had been married for more than sixty years. She had remained resolutely stoic throughout the entire funeral and kept on moving on with life’s activities.

So when I met with my grandmother and peered at her, nothing seemed to have changed. Her stare could stop bad behavior immediately, and she still cleared her throat imperiously when she was displeased. She enjoyed walking around large shopping malls and peering at all the latest fashions, and eating an endless number of bananas. Bananas were one of her favorite foods, and they were too expensive in Korea for her to consume daily.

She seemed fine, until she heard a song.

That morning, my mother needed to prepare lunch for my grandmother at our small New York City apartment. She turned her eyes on me, and I knew that it was my job to keep my grandmother entertained. I looked through our meagre collection of Korean cassette tapes and turned to my mother. Her fingers flipped through a few cassette tapes, picked up one, inserted it into the player, and pressed play.

My mother half-bowed to her mother-in-law. “Mother, I will be cooking in the kitchen. Jenny will keep you company, and we also thought that you would enjoy listening to some older Korean music.”

My grandmother pursed her lips and nodded regally. She folded her hands over her middle and closed her eyes. The mournful wailing of Korean singer, Lee Mi Ja, drifted over the speakers as she sang about memories of being a young bride (rough English translation of the second set of lyrics):

A long time ago, on this road,

As a young bride,

I followed my husband,

No matter where or how,

From the beginning to the ends of the earth.

My grandmother’s eyes remained closed, but her cheeks were wet. My mother came out from the kitchen, wiped her hands on her apron, and opened her mouth until she noticed her mother-in-law’s wet cheeks. She glanced at me, then at the cassette tape player, and modulated her voice. “Mother. That song must have made you think of father.”

My grandmother wiped her wet cheeks, and opened her eyes. She looked up at my mother and nodded briefly. And then her eyes veered away and gazed at some indistinct point. My mother went over to the cassette tape player and turned it off. She turned to me and placed her finger over her lips. I blinked.

Funerals are where we believe we bid farewell to the deceased and bury them and our feelings and memories into the ground. But do feelings and memories ever die, or do they remain dormant until a place, phrase, a song, or a melody provokes an emotion?

Queen Elizabeth II is a public figure with several titles. But last Saturday, in that pew, by herself, she reminded me of my late grandmother - a wife, a widow, and a person who retains the joint memories and emotions of a long marriage all alone.

For my grandmother, it was this song, “Assi,” sung by Lee Mi Ja that provoked memories of her late husband: 👇👇👇👇👇


✊​⚒️️​🧰​ Resources for the Week

✅ Musee de Louvre’s online collection database - while going to the museum is usually preferable, peering at incredible art collections online is a great second best. Check out how the Louvre has put more than 482,000 pieces of art for your perusal online.

Twitter avatar for @MuseeLouvre
Musée du Louvre @MuseeLouvre
[#PresseLouvre]   Le musée du #Louvre met en ligne ses collections et dévoile son nouveau site internet. 📲 Retrouvez notre communiqué de presse complet 👉 bit.ly/3tX8V7E
Image
11:11 AM ∙ Mar 26, 2021
695Likes369Retweets

✅ Leonardo da Vinci’s notebook collections now digitized

Twitter avatar for @openculture
Open Culture @openculture
Leonardo da Vinci’s Huge Notebook Collections, the Codex Forster, Now Digitized in High-Resolution Explore Them Online openculture.com/2019/06/leonar…
Image
12:23 AM ∙ Apr 4, 2021
334Likes128Retweets

✅ Testimonials vs Recommendations vs Reviews - by Bizpalooza

  • Reviews are about the what

  • Customer Testimonials are about the who

  • Recommendations are about the why

Twitter avatar for @Bizapalooza
Bizapalooza @Bizapalooza
I had no idea the folks were so confused about reviews vs testimonials vs recommendations -- here's the difference and how to leverage them in your marketing. bit.ly/3vGwyDa
Image
2:03 PM ∙ Apr 5, 2021

✅ What makes a successful networker by Kelly Hoey

Twitter avatar for @BYDNetwork
Build Your Dream @BYDNetwork
3 Tips from Kelly on what makes a successful networker: 1. Showing up everyday for your network, not just on the days you need something. 2. Understanding that networks are built over time, not schmoozed over a happy hour. 3. Repeating A. and remembering B. #BYDN #networking
BYDN, Networking, Networking Tips, Successful networkers
7:10 PM ∙ Apr 5, 2021
3Likes3Retweets

Closing Thoughts: Intensity vs Consistency, Habits, Bridges

Twitter avatar for @ShaneAParrish
Shane Parrish @ShaneAParrish
In the short term, you are as good as your intensity. In the long term, you are only as good as your consistency.
4:06 PM ∙ Apr 5, 2021
7,636Likes1,682Retweets
Twitter avatar for @Thenakedpoet2
The Naked Poet 🙏 @Thenakedpoet2
Habits are the fly-wheel of your life.
12:00 PM ∙ Apr 5, 2021
263Likes38Retweets
Twitter avatar for @fraveris
Francisco Ribeiro @fraveris
Dawn at the Nihonbashi Bridge Kawase Hasui 1940
Image
5:16 PM ∙ Apr 5, 2021
76Likes16Retweets

Please leave me your questions or thoughts in the Comments section below 👇👇👇

You can also:

  • Follow me on Twitter or DM me there, 

  • Follow me on YouTube; or

  • Email me at jennykimwop@gmail.com.

If you are enjoying Trade-offs and Triumphs, I would love it if you shared it with a friend or two by forwarding it or sharing it with the button below! 

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Be conscious of your trade-offs. Before settling on any one “solution,” run your fingers through all the trade-offs and decide intentionally and specifically.

And then celebrate your triumphs, no matter how small.

See you next week!

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